Some background:
My husband Keith and I are both translators and have been working from home together for nearly 10 years now. Someone in one of my American expat groups asked me how the two of us have managed to preserve our own space (and probably our relationship!) and I said I would give it a think.
Keith has a steady work pattern and basically does a 9 to 5, whereas I mix it up more with work and other responsibilities, so I usually flit around a lot more during the day and do household tasks (like laundry), drive to the supermarket, or meet with friends or groups. He and I have also made massive efforts to develop hobbies and friendships individually so up until now we've been taking turns going out at night (we can't usually both go out because we have kids). Over the past year there were often weeks when we'd only spend one evening a week together!
So now we come to the present day and here are my suggestions.
- HAVE A PLAN: I think having a plan is essential for staying sane and making sure everyone's happy. My take on it is that you need to force yourselves to have time apart. Even if you're at home, take a big break from each other regularly. (For those of you who have kids who will be home with you every single day, let's consider the kids as a single unit with one parent, so if I say "I" that could for example mean "the kids and I").
- GO OUTSIDE: If you're not both fully self-isolating (e.g. showing symptoms or high-risk) then at least one of you can go outside for an hour every day. Going outside in the fresh air is still allowed and different from being in a confined indoor space - you just have to keep your distance (I've seen a recommendation of 6 feet) from other people. You can walk in a less congested neighborhood or in a park or any other less populated space you can think of. In the UK the National Trust is working on keeping the outside areas of their properties open so check that this applies to any National Trust properties near you for a more pleasant change of scenery.
- DO SEPARATE THINGS AT HOME: Earlier this week I suggested to Keith that he should schedule online gaming sessions with his best friend. They don't usually do this because Keith prefers going out and seeing people in person, but of course that's not a good option right now, so the online interaction provides an alternative for connecting with a friend. What else can you do separately? The usuals, but carve out your "me" time even if you're not sick of each other yet. Be proactive about not spending every second together. So you should agree to go into separate rooms (or as far apart as possible in your home) and do your own thing e.g. a workout, listen to music, read a book, watch TV, play a game, call a friend, write a letter, catch up on e-mail, organize your stuff, do a video chat with friends, etc. etc. etc.
- DO THINGS TOGETHER IN AN ONLINE GROUP WITH OTHER PEOPLE: I've been anxious about the prospect of not being able to interact with anyone outside the home so I've been investigating options for playing party games online and found some ways to do a game night with friends (check out this post for more ideas). Or you could do a "pub night at home" (using Zoom, Google Hangouts, etc.) together with your partner and your mutual friends. I have a game night with friends in the pipeline and can let everyone know how it goes. I've always found that hanging out as a couple with other people is pretty different from just hanging out one-on-one and it really helps you feel like you're mixing things up.
Those are my initial ideas which I hope will help someone out there.
-Jennifer
